Loneliness—A Blessing and a Curse

You would think by the time you reach college you would have some sort of idea as to where you fit into the puzzle. The puzzle of 7 billion people that have been thrown onto this Earth together and are somehow supposed to find where they fit in. Since a young age I'm pretty sure society has tried to convince us that we all have a specific place and will grow up, get the right job, and fit where the universe wants us to fit. The older you get, the more meaningful your life should become. Well, I am slowly starting to believe the opposite. Who decided that every life is supposed to have meaning? Who decided that everyone should have their own personal effect on the world? I guess what I'm getting at is, Whats the purpose of life? And not in a self-loathing, suicidal way. I just want to know why people try to convince themselves that everyone needs to have a place. Maybe we are all supposed to just live. Simple as that. You do not need to cure cancer to have lived a successful life. A successful life should start when you're born and when you eventually die, Hey gold star! You just succeeded at living. Just a thought.

Next I guess I'll share with you what I wrote in a journal the other day.

'I'm in this room alone and lonely but if I wasn't alone the lonely would remain. I think its hard to grasp, the idea of not being lonely. No one can be inside my head with me, so how can I not be lonely?' I don't know if any of you guys ever think about it. But I find it to be true. You can never really put your thoughts into words. Not as perfect as they are in your head anyway. It's like trying to explain a dream you had to someone but they will never see it the way you did. But maybe that's a good thing. One of the reasons I refuse to see a movie after reading a book is because of this. The thoughts are from the writers head. So I do not imagine it the same as them, but I imagine it my own way. A way that is perfect for me. And I always end up liking the one in my own mind the best. So, is being lonely a blessing or a curse? I guess both. I daydream a lot. Like way more than I think any normal person does. I play out scenes in my head and then dismiss them when I realize I'm daydreaming again. But its nice, to have an alternate universe that can live in my thoughts. I try to get lost in them sometimes. If I'm not in class where I should be paying attention. If I'm alone and can continue living in that alternate universe where my brain is making each and every decision without society impeding on them. Until I get snapped back to reality, that is.

Feels Like The End - Mikky Ekko

"Silence so mighty you go deaf"